I have been under some pressure lately from people I’d rather not mention. I’ve been feeling like I’m spiraling out of control for some time now and I don’t even know why. I don’t feel like that girl that used to smell the flowers and laugh at stupid jokes just to laugh. I feel so trapped between what I want to do and what I should do that I feel my heart breaking from the weight and my mind exploding from the pressure. Maybe its a bad week or maybe its a bad day/month, you name it. But I have to express these feelings before I really lose myself. Before I crumble from the inside and become nothing. I feel ashamed for winning about my life when so many others have it worse than me, but I have to let this all go somewhere. And maybe I shouldn’t feel that way, but I do. And if you know me personally, please do not worry. I may not be okay, but I’m not going to make rash decisions. I miss my past but I know I’ll never get back to the place that once was. I may not be the flower girl anymore. I may never want to touch another flower again. But just know that in some aspect, in some form, in some day, I will be better.